People need to feel that they are, indeed, an important factor in this place called the world. Yes, you will hear people; say "No, I do not need recognition". Let us just say that those who protest too much are often the ones that need the recognition the most.
During a recent visit, I had the opportunity to be with a Mary who was an introvert. Spending a great deal of quiet time by herself is common. Yet, when she arrived on my doorstep the flood gates opened. Subject after subject surfaced all about her. Soon I found myself having a hard time keeping the focus on what she was saying.
I started questioning my own ability to listen. What was the issue?
As I went to bed that night I figured it out. I had done an outstanding job of listening to her, and I realized that she had not asked me one thing about me or my life. We were not having a conversation we were having somewhat a counseling session with me being the unsuspecting counselor.
With that being said, what could I have done differently? My view, very little. Mary has always done a great deal of talking about herself. Yet, often she teases me that I am a diva who loves attention. It is the perfect example of holding up a mirror and look at what you are hearing and saying. Does it reflect something that you should be working on in your life?
As she packed, she thanked me for being such a good listener. No question there was time that I was a Mary, one who did all the talking and listened very little. Through the years, I have learned that when I listen that is when I learn. If you do all the talking, you are only repeating things you already know. You know everything you know. When you listen you grow.
Mary felt significant because someone listened to her. Listening providing a vehicle to help make that happen. As for me, I am smiling for I was observant. I figured out what the issue was and choose to continue to be a good listener. The choice was mine. So glad I learned the skill of listening.
During a recent visit, I had the opportunity to be with a Mary who was an introvert. Spending a great deal of quiet time by herself is common. Yet, when she arrived on my doorstep the flood gates opened. Subject after subject surfaced all about her. Soon I found myself having a hard time keeping the focus on what she was saying.
I started questioning my own ability to listen. What was the issue?
As I went to bed that night I figured it out. I had done an outstanding job of listening to her, and I realized that she had not asked me one thing about me or my life. We were not having a conversation we were having somewhat a counseling session with me being the unsuspecting counselor.
With that being said, what could I have done differently? My view, very little. Mary has always done a great deal of talking about herself. Yet, often she teases me that I am a diva who loves attention. It is the perfect example of holding up a mirror and look at what you are hearing and saying. Does it reflect something that you should be working on in your life?
As she packed, she thanked me for being such a good listener. No question there was time that I was a Mary, one who did all the talking and listened very little. Through the years, I have learned that when I listen that is when I learn. If you do all the talking, you are only repeating things you already know. You know everything you know. When you listen you grow.
Mary felt significant because someone listened to her. Listening providing a vehicle to help make that happen. As for me, I am smiling for I was observant. I figured out what the issue was and choose to continue to be a good listener. The choice was mine. So glad I learned the skill of listening.
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